Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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