There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
