I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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