Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
