Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize