I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
