you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
