dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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