and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
