in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
