plz talk dirty to me
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
