bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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