She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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