I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
