I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
