omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
