Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
