My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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