either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
