Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize