Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
