I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize