Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
