did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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