My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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