Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
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He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
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I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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