Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
