There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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