why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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