"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
