Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
