i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
only if we run a train.
done.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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