Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
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Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
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The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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