You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
