Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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