Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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