do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
