Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
