Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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