well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
my being single is dangerous.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
