Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
