i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
