I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
