mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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