After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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