Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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