Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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