Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
