Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I need a beard to bite.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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