Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize