im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize