i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You were trust falling into bushes
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
