i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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