I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize