I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize