Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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